esson 42: Investiture of the Grail

ow I recognize the stream by which the Grail Maiden stands. As I come to meet her, my thirst is as great as ever. (Eight glasses a day is no longer just a good idea, rather a requirement.) Arlene seeks no one out, yet neither does she turn anyone away. She divines in her cup, and turns away from no vision seen there.

   I look into her cup and see a dark, dark night. I can make out the outlines of houses&emdash;a small village. Bells begin to ring (cups reversed?) and candles are lit in windows. I see more and more candles. I see myself in the village, lost in the darkness, the flames too small to guide me. I fumble along to the nearest doorway, knock to ask directions. I've interrupted someone's dinner; ooh, major faux pas. But they pull me inside, and it's bright and warm. They make room for me at the family table, set a place for me, feed me and make me welcome. And there I was before, thinking they were fools for living in the dark! The candles weren't just for show, but to send the message: there is warmth and light *inside.* If there is no room at the inn, you are more than welcome here.
   As the vision fades, I see many candles in many windows. I realize that a house is also a Grail&emdash;a vessel containing Life.

   Speechless, I meet Arlene's eyes. She reaches down into the pool and gets something and puts it in my hand. It's a beautiful crystal&emdash;clear stone, not prismatic like a crystal, but flat and round, worn down by the water of the stream. Diamond sparkles dance within, forming the outline of the Grail and humming with a bubbling brook sound. Arlene gifts me with a silvery-blue pouch to carry it in, and when I hang it around my neck it falls exactly to the level of my heart. With hugs and tears I take my leave from her.

   Entering Grail Two, I am reminded of the great cathedrals I have visited, and the tub is like the font of holy water. I gaze into it and see that the water is a deep and lovely violet color. I find a vial nearby and fill it from this source. Continuing on to Grail Three, I'm happy to find that there is still food and drink spread on the table, and I help myself. The water in the pitcher is a deep indigo, and there is a vial here for me to take.

   I come to the pass and meet Gawain. After initial greetings, I complain to him, "The more I try to be strong, like you, the more stupid and guilty I feel when I am weak. Being weak around others at least serves a purpose, helps them karmically/spiritually when they help you. But what about being weak alone? What about self-sabotage?"
   "These are times when you give *God* the opportunity to help you! And when you have a chance to build your relationship with Him. Pray, and you're not alone. Pray, and let Him help you to be strong. Pray, and let Love rule.
   "And if that doesn't help, lean into the arms of the Goddess and be comforted. She is a Keeper of Secrets, and an understanding, uncondemning co-conspiratrix." <wink>

   Going on through the pass, I emerge and follow lovely golden notes until I find Daniel, the Grail Knight. He expresses his delight in my protruding belly, and plays a tune just for Pinky. I feel him move inside of me, and I laugh heartily and give him a bouncing ride.
   Daniel kneels before me and takes my hand, and places his other hand on my belly, promising to serve us always, to be there for us in need, and to always uplift us&emdash;from dullness and depression&emdash;with a song. In token of this pledge, he places a ring on my finger. It's some kind of star sapphire, but one like I've never seen. The brilliance moves through it, but so also does it change from deep blue to deeper and finally to black. It reminds me of evening sky with its twilight colors.

   It's been nice to spend the past two days with wonderful and caring men, but now I must move on. I pass rather quickly through Grail Four, before it has a chance to suck me in. Beside the path, I pick up a vial with a lovely blue liquid, rich as autumn sky. Boarding the ship of Grail Five, I find another vial on board. This one contains a liquid which is green like the sea.

   The ship carries me to the island of the Wounded King, who I find in a state of quiet recovery. He cautions me about my own health and fitness, warning me not to overexert myself. He reminds me that I am now responsible for more than just my own life, and I can't just do what I want anymore. Ha! Like I haven't noticed!!! Seems like men can be the worst 'mother hens' to pregnant women! But I know that the Wounded King understands more than most about how one's well-being can be connected to the well-being of others. Taking my left hand in his and placing his other hand on my brow, he imparts his blessing that my man always stand by me as he does now, to support and care for us, that we may be interdependent in mutual love. "May all your sacrifices be great," he says. And it doesn't scare me, because I understand.