esson 37: Spiral Tower

he reflection changes almost imperceptibly, and I find the scene either changed or revealed, but I'm not sure which! I find myself in the great Spiral Tower, atop a large hill. I climb the spiral staircase, round and round, until I reach an observation room. As I pause to catch my breath, an amazing white owl flies into the room, clutching a small mouse, which it drops to the floor.

   The air shimmers, and the owl transforms into a pale and tall woman. The mouse which she had carried floats upwards as a mist.
   "Welcome to the Spiral Tower," she greets me, "the tower of changing. How do you come to be here?"
   "The birds and the bees brought me," I tell her, grinning.
   "Well, changes both under your control and not! And much more ahead! But before you go careening off into the future, why don't you take a moment to review the influences of the recent past, to get a thorough sense of upon what ground (or hill) you stand?"

   She sits on the floor and pulls me down beside her, and then spreads out a lovely white silk cloth. I take my Tarot cards, shuffle and lay them out:

1) Who am I?--Talesin

The Storyteller, historian, keeper and revealer of records, traditions, myths, knowledge, stories

2) The way I've handled my resources--Spear Ten

When I visited the Spear Castle, the basement was full of the clutter of "my stuff," my personal treasure hoard. I spend most of my energy collecting stuff (ideas, books, photos, articles, catalogs, papers, knickknacks, &c.) which becomes a growing pile of unfinished projects. A collection of sticks which never quite becomes a bonfire, but blocks my view of the path. (Picturing RW 10W here.)

3) Kind of choices I've made--Spear Two

Blind, or intuitive, trusting instinct. I *rarely* trust logic to guide my actions.

4) Influence of home-life/environment--Sword Seven

Since this reading is about influences of the recent past (year), I make a connection here with my old neighbor. As my ground was made so unstable, I made a bigger effort to keep steady on that floating rock, never knowing when I would hit white water rapids, or when I would fall in the water! It's been said: "Don't rock the boat!" But what if someone else is rocking it? I chose to sit as still as possible, to be small and invisible, and now I've gotten kind of acclimated to that.

5) Way I've expressed myself--Stone Nine

I've expressed myself more through solitary or virtual pursuits, creating for the pleasure of it, putting it "out there" regardless of whether anyone will stumble across it, much less respond. I'd prefer more interaction than exposition.

6) Way I've worked--Spear Seven

Defense! I've been doing what I've been obligated to do, but not seeking out work or tasks. If it comes to me, fine; if not, I just *look* busy!

7) Kind of relationships--Spiral Tower

Lately, people have moved into and out of my life rather often. I've met some cool people (Nicole, Pascal) who have disappeared almost as quickly as they appeared. Fly-by-night.

8) Legacies of previous action--Stone Two

My first thought is: facing winter again. Looking out, seeing the fog, feeling blah and knowing I did it to myself. Also, my previous actions of letting my husband take charge of all the decisions has created a legacy of indecisiveness in me.

9) Relations to spiritual, legal or philosophical framework--Grail Three

I want it all! "Prefer a feast of friends . . . " Put it all on the table and let me feast!

10) How I've responded to society--Spear Knight

While I've become more "invisible" in my daily life, I try to compensate in my social life! I charge ahead adventurously, without weighing consequences or standards. (I used to be more like this in my daily life too, and I regret my increasing conformity.)

Actually, this card rather loudly reminds me of the Midsummer Fest insanity.

11) Aspirations reflected in the world--Stone Eight

This card speaks of apprenticeship and preparation. It reminds me of my mother-to-be shower, when everyone talked about my interactions with children. ("The first time I met her, she was up in a tree with my kids." "The first time I saw her, she was blowing bubbles in the street with about 10 children." "She used to take all the kids on the street to the park.") In other words, my aspiration to have children of my own was reflected in the world by my apprenticeship spent with others' children. Maybe. Maybe I'm just still a kid myself, and I only aspire to remain so.

12) Part of myself of which I've been unaware--Grail Queen

Yes, I must admit that the "Mother of Love" has been suppressed while I've been busy with other things.

 

So, now for the influences of the coming year.