Moonchild's Journey Part I

"I had to go through my early education (0-VI) before I could move on (VII-VIII) to the university (IX)."

During my early years, I was very much enveloped in the early Major Arcana. I was a focused achiever (I), already entering third grade when I was six years old. I come from a large family, but I am the only daughter of my parents' seven children. I was the only one to have my own bedroom, and I was always the only one who could entertain myself, existing happily within my own thoughts (II). I had a nurturing mother (III) and an authoritarian father (IV). I even went to private Christian schools til I was 11 years old (V).

I had always been drawn to the "occult." From the time I first heard of Dracula, I knew he was my *real* father. (I've never met my real father). My first year in public school, more things started to open up to me. For one thing, I read "The Crucible." Kind of a Trump V-reversed. I was astonished at this dark side of religion, and the power the young girls had to bring this drama into their lives. I started to wonder if some other mysteries might have more to them than what I'd learned up to the "V" stage.

Then, in the summer when I was 12 (before high school), this conversation:
Dad: "We don't want you playing outside with the boys after dark."
Me: "But why not?"
Dad: "Cause I said so."

Naturally, this only peaked my curiousity, and I gradually moved into the VI stage. [censored] = P

The Chariot started to manifest, as I snuck around (or out the window) to meet my boyfriend. And I started to have more experiences that made me start questioning everything. Of course, they had lied to me about Santa Claus, so everything else must be a lie too, I thought. So I took the reins, and turned everything upside down. I rejected everything I had been taught--all the tradition--in favor of the opposing viewpoint. In my senior year, I was voted "Most Likely to Put a Spell on the Senior Class." They put that label on me, based solely on the fact that I read strange books (i.e., Necronomicon) between classes.

I can't deny that I was far more troublesome than the average teenager. I'll never shake that subtle association of the Chariot with a police car or ambulance!

Finally, I had the strength (VIII) to get my self together, return to school (after dropping out), and get my diploma so that I could go away to college (IX). I moved away from my family, lived by myself, and studied. I spent eons in the Heaven of Library East. You would not believe the books UF has in their library.

I was able to devote a lot of time to solitary occult studies, but I also learned that my previous throwing out of everything else (esp. the Bible) was depriving me of part of the picture, so to speak. For example, I couldn't appreciate Crowley nearly as well if I didn't have some familiarity with the Bible, among *many* other things.

Each thing is another rock in the mountain we climb. Instead of scaling a vertical rock wall, I prefer to make a nice spiral around and up to the top. Thing is, the mountain's so big that when you start out, it takes a while til you get to the other side. As you ascend, the rotations get shorter, until you have the entire view from the top. But when you're on the ground, you only see your side of the mountain, and probably can't even see the top.

Which is why I think, with any mountain, you just take the side you're on and start climbing.

(Upon this rock I will build my church.)

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